Consciously Letting Go

How to cultivate healing through surrender

By Kelley Alchemy

I could start with a profound quote about how necessary and freeing letting go of what no longer is serving us is…. however, no matter how true that remains, it doesn’t change the fact that letting go is f*cking hard. Really hard… especially when it’s something or someone we have a strong emotional attachment to. I’ve struggled with this process most specifically when it comes to future ideas and expectations, programmed responses or automated perceptions, limiting beliefs, and of course, relationships — both romantic and platonic.

When we consciously confront and work through these experiences, a very specific, rare, and resilient aspect of our souls is excavated and born. This part of us is something so strong and subtle that we hardly realize when it takes root — yet, simultaneously and gradually acquire an unshakable level of love and respect for ourselves; a love for ourselves so real that we’re in wonder of how we ever survived without it. This healing presence of love and care arrives in the form of deep knowing and intuitive awareness. The ego can try and distract you from this connection to self, but the more you focus on strengthening it, the louder your intuition will get.

It can be challenging to differentiate between whether or not someone or something deserves more patience, effort and attention.... parting ways can feel too permanent or painful in the moment… especially if there hasn’t been a particularly negative experience associated with the person of thing you’re considering. For example, a partner who can’t commit in the way you desire or deserve, yet they have never cheated or treated you badly, so you make excuses as to why you should wait around for them or keep them in your life, even though you know in the back of your mind and heart what you really want.

What’s helpful to remember in these moments, is that by keeping these certain things and relationships at “arms reach” we are taking up valuable energy and resources when it comes to our manifesting capacity. We cannot energetically welcome in new people, places and experiences into our reality when we are consciously or even subconsciously holding space for these old things to return back.

Here are 10 suggestions I have found to be incredibly effective in cultivating that rare and healing “life source” energy that makes letting go feel more effortless. It’s important to be honest, gentle, forgiving, kind and supportive to yourself rather than harsh, judgmental or closed off. We are all human, remember this. Our intention is the most important thing.

1. Spending time alone and in nature will increase your intuitive awareness; do small recurring acts of loving kindness for yourself like taking a warm salt baths, stretching, dry brushing, self oil massages, etc.

2. Cooking for yourself and eating organically, locally, and in-season will elevate your vibrational frequency

3. Visualize what your ideal situation / partnership / career / etc. feels and looks like

4. Meditation, sound healing, journaling and intention setting are all excellent ways to transmute stuck, stagnant energies

5. Set fair and protective boundaries; implement them consistently and confidently

6. Read spiritual texts, help others, donate money or time to those in need

7. Do more of what you enjoy; spend time with loved ones without devices and technology involved

8. Travel, explore, plan adventures, immerse yourself in the unknown or foreign

9. Learn hobbies that provide life-sustaining returns such as sewing your own clothes or growing your own vegetables

10. Above all, learn to live in a state of gratitude and unconditional love no matter the circumstances. When we can find trust and peace even in times of disappointment, heartache, fear, worry and lack, we are reminded that everything is temporary and that the divine is always working in our highest good.

Implementing these helpful techniques and loving practices will help to strengthen your connection to self so you can be more in-tune with our body, emotions, mind, and heart. When we are more present and aware with our feelings and personal auric frequency, we are able to more clearly and confidently choose our thoughts and even responses. This all in turn, creates room for miracles and new opportunities to manifest within your reality.

Letting go is hard, but so is taking chances and breaking free from old, limiting patterns and ways of living — choose your hard. You will never regret taking more time and space for yourself and your future.

Read more about Kelley and her knowledge here

Change Your Habits, Change Your Life

How changing tiny daily habits will dramatically change your future

Written by Lindsey O.

When we picture a better future for ourselves, we often see the "big steps” needed to get there. But what if reaching your future goals wasn’t done in a matter of big accomplishments, but rather in tiny changes to your daily life? Luckily for us, this is exactly the case. Overtime, small habits compound into incredible results. It could be over months, or even years, which is why we tend not to focus on these tiny changes.

Imagine if you improved just 1% each day, where would you be in a year?? 10 years? 20 years? You would probably see some BIG results. Now imagine if you made a 1% decline in your habits everyday (food, exercise, reading, learning, work ethic). Again, you would probably see big results, but they would not be aligned with the future you wanted for yourself. This is why making sure your daily habits are aligned with your future goals is so important.

Our brains crave completing easy tasks with instant gratification, and we have the ability to design our environment in order to encourage tiny changes to our behavior, which overtime will lead to massive results. So lets get started talking about how you can change your environment, to encourage better habits, and change your life.

How to change your environment to encourage better habits

The Habit Loop.

Our brains are wired to follow a habit loop, which we must learn to work with if we want to develop better habits. The loop works like this: Cue > Routine > Reward. For example, a cue is that your stomach growls, the routine would be grabbing food to eat, and the reward is satisfying your craving. Another example, a cue is that your phone vibrates, the routine would be checking your messages, the reward would be satisfying the need to know the contents of the message. So if we know our brains work like this, we simply need to find BETTER routines in order to reach the reward, manipulate the cues in our environment to work in our favor, or attach rewards to positive routines.

Attaching Rewards to Positive Routines

Many small tasks we need to do to reach our “rewards” do not give us instant gratification. For example, eating healthy for a day will not give us our dream body right away, and being more productive during the day will not automatically make us more money. By attaching instant rewards to these positive activities we can encourage ourselves to have better habits & routines.

Here are some examples. If your goal is to exercise for 30 minutes a day, you could reward yourself with a smoothie after you complete your exercise. Similarly, you could allow yourself to watch Netflix only while on the treadmill. In another example, if you want to save money to go on vacation, each time you pass on going out for dinner or drinks, and instead do DIY, you could put the money you would save into a savings account or jar immediately, so you can see the results ASAP and watch them build over time.

Manipulate our Environment

One way we can develop better habits is to make bad habits harder to complete, and good habits easier. This is because the more energy a habit takes to complete, the less likely we are to stick to it. Here are some examples of ways you can do this. If you are on your phone too much during the work day, by placing your phone in another room or in a drawer, you are far less likely to be scrolling through social media instead of getting your work done. Similarly, removing the batteries from a remote will make you less likely to turn on the TV all the time. If we want to encourage good habits, we can make them easier. For example, if you meal prep 5 salads on Sunday night, you are far more likely to eat a salad for lunch each day rather than order out unhealthy food.

Another way we can manipulate our environment is to change our visual cues. This could be as simple as putting your gym bag by the door, keeping the book you are studying by your bed, or stocking your fridge with healthy food and drinks instead of soda and junk food.

Replace poor routines with better routines

If we keep the habit loop in mind (cue > routine > reward), we know that if we can replace a routine with a healthier one that yields the same result, we can dramatically change our life over time. For example, if you go out for beers after work every day with a coworker to “let off steam” (cue = the stressful work day is over, reward = endorphins and social activity), you could ask the coworker to engage in a healthier routine with you each day. This could be a walk along the water, a bike ride, or heading to the rock climbing gym. The reward would stay the same, but by changing the routine, overtime you will see great changes to your health.

Start Small

Remember how we are far more likely to stick to a habit when it requires less energy? By starting small, we are more likely to stick to a new habit. Here are a few examples. If your goal is to do the splits, you are much more likely to stick to your habit and reach your goal if you commit to stretching for 3 minutes everyday versus 15. Similarly, if your goal is to read a book to learn a new skill, you are far more likely to stick to this if you commit to reading 20 minutes a day versus an hour. Remember that small daily changes lead to big results, and implementing these tiny tweaks to your day just may mean the difference between reaching your goals or not.

Thanks for being here, I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Lindsey O

www.LindseyO.com

Handling Uncertainty, an intro to EFT

Written by Alixia Bovet, from Rise Beauties.

We are all faced with feelings of deep uncertainty at the moment.

How we handle our mind and emotions during this time will be the difference between thriving or letting it get the best of us. How can we take back control when we feel like things are spiraling?

First of all, we have more power than most of us realize. When we are experiencing fear, whether it’s financial, medical, or anything else, our strength lies in our emotions and mindsets. When we are in a worried or fearful state, our bodies are stressed, which shuts down our ability to think clearly and optimistically. In those moments, our brains are focused on survival or avoiding a potential threat. When we cannot think clearly, we cannot see the solutions that are ready to support us.

Think of yourself as a broadcaster, and what you are broadcasting with your mind is what you are seeing coming back to you. This is because our minds seek validation for our beliefs. We want to be right, so we will find any evidence to justify our feelings and what we are thinking. That is great when we use this to focus deliberately in a way that will benefit us. However, if we are using our minds in a way that isn’t serving us, it can be restricting. When it comes to your mindset, think of it as an FM radio. You are on station 101.3 FM, and on this station are all fearful, worried thoughts. You would like to receive back something else, but you can’t because you are tuned to the wrong station. We have to switch the station to receive love, or hope, or relief.

We have the power to think and feel differently then what is being projected in front of us.

It takes deliberate focus to see things in a way that will be beneficial to us and others. We can shift by calming our bodies and choosing to feel differently. Let’s say that I decided to feel hopeful instead of fearful. When I am tuned to that hopeful station, I can access optimistic thoughts. That is because my body and mind aren’t in survival mode, trying to protect me. Instead, I am open to seeing things differently.

Opportunities are ready to appear for you. Without a problem, there can’t be a solution, so imagine what kind of solutions are now available to you. What if it can be better than it was before? That is a hopeful thought that will be genuinely beneficial to you. I know that understanding this logically may come easy, but applying it takes practice. That is where Emotional Freedom Technique comes in, also known as EFT.

What is EFT?

EFT is an in-the-moment solution that you can use to calm your mind and your body. It helps you shift your emotions by signaling to the brain that it’s safe to relax. You do this by tapping on different energy meridians in the body, which is a form of acupressure. You may have seen people talking and tapping on different areas of their face and body, wondering what they are doing. I’m here to say - do not knock it until you try it! EFT is mighty for releasing stressful emotions and choosing better feeling ones. We can use this technique to shift our feelings before we see a change in our environment. This opens us up to solutions and different outcomes. You can also help others by being calm and solution-oriented. How good does it feel to be around someone who is calm and optimistic? It’s inspiring! We are all seeking relief, and we want a solution so that we can feel better. With EFT, we can feel better right now and tune to the answers.

You can use EFT to reprogram your subconscious, change your beliefs, and experience relief from trauma, fear, and pain. EFT, which is also called tapping by some, has changed my life. I regularly use tapping to shift my emotions. I also use it to improve belief systems that I notice aren’t serving me. I am aware that my brain loves to be right, so when I am using my mind to achieve results that I want, I truly feel empowered.

How to do EFT?

If you are new to EFT, it’s great to have someone guide you throughout the process. In that way, you can relax and let your body shift emotionally. Below I have attached a quick tutorial video on where you need to tap. In the second video, you will tap on the different meridian points while repeating after me. It really is just that easy. I have made this video sound-only so that you may close your eyes and focus on the words. I find it very soothing to close my eyes as I tap and feel my energy shift.

What to do?

On this page, you will find my first video, demonstrating the tapping points and how to follow along with an EFT video. Simply click on the video “How and where to tap.”

When to do the tapping?

You can use this tapping video anytime you are feeling fear. You can do this tapping routine as many times as you would like. In fact, I recommend doing it until you feel an emotional shift within you and recognize that the fear has turned to a better feeling emotion. Or, until you feel neutral about the situation. You can do this every day for a week, a month, or as long as it takes. Here is the EFT video for releasing fear.

I know that EFT will help you find emotional relief. It has been a gift in my life, and I am looking forward to the results it will bring to you! If you liked EFT, here are a few other videos I’ve put together you can try.

Tapping Meditation for Feeling Good

On my EFT page, I also have a video called Love yourself and your body EFT, in this video, I tap along with you, which may be helpful when just starting EFT if you are still feeling unsure about how to complete the practice.

Enjoy!

If you are interested in a morning journaling practice, please download my free guide, Transform.

By starting our day in a positive and uplifting place, we are open to the solutions and outcomes we desire. We are tuned to the station that allows us to live a happier and calmer life. I couldn’t recommend this practice enough, it has changed how I see my life in surprising ways. You can find more on my blog, www.risebeauties.com.

Much love,

Alixia

Financial Planning for Creatives

by Lindsey O’Sullivan.

As creatives and as entrepreneurs we have special circumstances we need to prepare for. The harsh reality (that many of us have begun to face head on during the COVID-19 crisis) is that in our field, we have the potential to be without income for months or longer at any point in our careers.

The stress and hardship this can bring on hits to the core. It hurts. We hear you.

If you had 6 months to a year of income saved up for this moment, things would be less stressful, a bit easier to cope right? That would be ideal, but the question we hear so often is “How is that possible!?” We have student loans, bills to pay, investments we need to make in our business. Today I’m going to walk you through a budget plan to get your finances in order so that the next time something like this happens, you will be ready to face it head on.

Part A : Build your Reserve

The first phase I recommend, is to put any extra money into a savings account reserved for emergency situations.

“Wait.. shouldn’t I focus on paying off my debt faster or investing in my business first?”

Here’s the harsh reality. This is not the first economic recession, and it won’t be the last. We experienced one in 2008, and here we are again. As an entrepreneur or creative by choice, we have the risk that during an economic downturn we may not have income for months, for a year even. The risks are very real and they are outweighed by many rewards of owning your own business, but the risks need to be managed. That’s why I’m recommending you build up a savings account before focusing on other areas of saving and spending.

What does this look like?

First, calculate your expenses each month. These are mandatory things like rent, electricity, food, minimum payments on any debt, and gas. If you had no income - how much money would you need to make it a month? Now multiply this by 6-12 months, and this is your goal.

If you don’t have this emergency fund saved yet, I recommend not paying extra on loans (make the minimum payment only), and not spending on things you don’t need (clothes, that new car, that new lens for your photography business that you might not need, etc). This emergency fund is going to be what may get you by one day, so this is your priority.

Set aside as much money as you can each month until you reach your savings goal. Put this money in its own special savings account so it wont be spent on other things later. Try to find a high yield savings account so that you can collect the highest interest rate on it.

Part B - Pay off debt

Once you have your emergency fund of 6-12 months in a savings account, do not touch it! Congratulations, you are now prepared for a loss of income from 6 months to a year, an amazing security to have for yourself - this is huge! You can lighten up a little on spending now, and allow yourself to buy a few non-essential items while you focus on paying down your debt to zero.

The approach that I think makes the most sense to pay off debt (and actually stick to it) was actually promoted by Dave Ramsey, and it’s called the “Snowball Method”. Here’s how it works!

1. Make a list of all your debt (credit cards, student loans, car loan, mortgage, etc).

2. Continue making the minimum payments on all of your debt.

3. Now, which debt has the smallest balance (For example, maybe this is a credit card with a $3500 balance?). You are going to pay whatever extra you can on this each month. So for example if your minimum payment is $100 and you have $500 extra you can spare each month, you are going to pay $600 each month on this debt until it is completely gone.

4. One down? Congrats! You’re knocking them off the list! Now, what is the next smallest debt on the list? Go ahead and take the amount you spent each month to pay off the debt in step 3 ($600 in the example in step 3) and pay this as an extra payment each month until it is completely paid off. So for example, if your next biggest debt was a car loan for $10,000 and your monthly payment is $200, now you are going to pay $800 each month ($200 minimum + $600 extra). You are still paying the exact same amount on debts as last month, but since once debt is gone - you are putting all of that towards another debt.

5. Two down? What an amazing feeling that will be! Continue this process on the next biggest debt until you are officially debt free.

Why does the Snowball Method work? By working from the smallest debts to the larger debts, you have milestones to celebrate which psychologically will help you keep to your goal.

Once you have paid off your debts you can lighten up even more on spending and allow yourself to start purchasing more fun items each month.

Part C - Save for Retirement

If you’re not employed by a company who helps put money into your retirement account, odds are you have to be the one who puts together a plan for the money you will need to retire. Relying on social security, a partner, or others to support you in the future is not as wise of a decision as taking this into your own hands.

As a creative, or entrepreneur, you will want to start setting aside money every month so that when you are ready to stop working, you will have a bucket of money to live off of. You will also want to invest this money so that it grows year over year, meaning the earlier you start this, the more your money will work for you!

Mutual funds are a great way to invest your money because they are less risky than buying stock from a single company. A good mutual fund should give you an 8% increase or more (average) on your money each year, over the long term.

Another great thing to look into when starting your own retirement account is a Roth IRA. By paying tax on the money you put into the account today, you won’t have to pay tax on the (much larger) amount you pull out when you are ready to retire. I highly recommend researching a Roth IRA and seeing if it is the right choice for you. There are many websites such as Fidelity, that can help you get started with a Roth or regular IRA account, which you can contribute money to each month, and invest based on the level of risk you are comfortable with.

Written by: Lindsey O’Sullivan, photographer and co-founder of Ember & Solis

Since a young age, I have been focused on saving money, having multiple streams of income, keeping debt to a minimum, and building assets. This structured approach has worked for me but may not work for everyone.

This content is for informational purposes only, you should not construe any such information or other material as legal, tax, investment, financial, or other advice.

The Importance of Collaboration during COVID-19

Community collaboration is essential when growing your creative practice.

How much importance do you place on an authentic support system? Finding, building, and maintaining a community within the creative field is essential for your practice. It dissolves feelings of isolation and loneliness and allows us to be seen by others who relate to us on a deeper level; thus formulating more confidence and trust in ourselves. Staying in tune with your creative community will help to normalize some of the chaos that comes with this territory.

Community will also drive personal growth. It formulates the opportunity to experience creativity from the various perspectives of all people surrounding you— at a collective level—  rather than the individual one you can provide for yourself. Community also allows others to see the work we do and give constructive feedback. Through giving us support and confidence, community will encourage us to step out of our comfort zones, experiment, remain inquisitive and motivated through our daily life

But what about collaboration?

Community as a whole can give us resources, inspiration, and insight - each of which is amplified through collaboration within your community. As a photographer, Lindsey has worked on numerous styled sessions with florists, designers, wedding planners, artists, and models who each bring something unique to the shoot, as well as all the takeaways from other shoots they have been a part of and their entire career. Working together, everyone learns something from those around them, and since everyone sees something unique - the combined effort can drive a unique style to the shoot that may not have been found otherwise. As a painter, Sam has done quite a few collaborations with other artists and models - such as live painting on nude bodies in the middle of the city with another artist. Through this, both artists had to find the pieces of their work that complimented each other, the color pallet that inspired both of them, and even agree on the brush strokes they wanted to showcase for that particular emotion. By agreeing on a vision together, both artists were pushed to explore these colors, these strokes, and this one shared emotion even further - pushing them to expand beyond what they typically loved to paint on their own. They dove all in to showcase one emotion together, and adapted every step of the way to the bodies of the models, their emotions, and their movements.

How can you collaborate (safely) during this global pandemic and social distancing?

Wondering how you can collaborate while still practicing social distancing? So were we. We set up our own collaboration - a photo-shoot done over FaceTime where we both had to work to set a scene, lighting, a pose, and multiple camera angles at once in order to get shots that we both resonated with. We (Lindsey & Sam) got on FaceTime and worked together to pose Sam’s phone, body, and surroundings, while Lindsey photographed her phone as if it were a product she was trying to showcase.

Need some ideas for how you can collaborate and build community during this time?

• Have virtual photo shoots. You can play with this in many different ways. iPads & full length mirrors are always a fun added element.

• Plan an online exhibition or interview series with others— we can still make events happen through Instagram live, zoom and other fun platforms. Allow your voice and others in your community to be heard.

• We’ve just opened submissions for our new blog platform and would love for you to be a part of this community. Share your story, your knowledge, your gifts— with those waiting to hear it. Visit this page to learn more.

• Get creative in your community— is there a way to participate in public art in your area right now? whether that be as simple as sidewalk chalk murals to publicly approved installations; how can you create art that inspires, brings hope, and generates positivity to your local area?

• Invite others into your space utilizing zoom— allow clients to see your process directly and bring them into your creative space. You can also host creative parties, instructional videos, or happy hours this way.

• Start a podcast— gather friends in your field to promote fun, quirky and important conversations through live interviews & more.

• Collaborate on physical art projects via the mail— work with other mixed media artists to mail incomplete art works back and forth to finalize a fun composition. Create a fun new series together

• Plan for the future— plan in-person events for the future with multidisciplinary artists. Gather ideas for group shows, concerts, exhibitions and more.

Have you tried any of our ideas, or come up with one on your own? We would love to hear about it, and feature it! Send us a note at emberandsolis@gmail.com

<3 Lindsey & Sam